As I was browsing the Internet I came across a picture of Jessica Simpson, America’s favorite dumb blonde. This picture (seen below) is a perfect example of the phenomenon known as the “I’m-Hot-Shit-And-I-Know-It Lip Pucker”. I have noticed the phenomenon since being in college as I have seen it on the faces of every white girl Sorostitute when they go out to the various campus bars and clubs. This face is most recognized when the Sorostitute glances down at herself whilst grinding with nothing but the air around her. The Sorostitute is likely to be seen performing said air-grinding ritual with other Sorostitutes in large groups on a sticky wood

en bar or fraternity house floor. After a certain amount of alcohol has been consumed, the Sorostitute will no longer air-grind, but will move onto grinding with her fellow Sorostitutes or even the male of the species, the FratBrat.

The narcissistic qualities conveyed through the “I’m-Hot-Shit-And-I-Know-It Lip Pucker” of the Sorostitute are supported by the fact that they have a penchant for getting their pictures taken, no matter what they happen to be doing at the time (kissing other Sorostitutes, taking shots of tequila, throwing up, et cetera). Because of this photographilia, if you will, sites that give the Sorostitute a place to post her latest bar crawl photos for free (such as facebook.com, collegehumor.com and, of course, myspace.com) have significantly grown in popularity over the past few years. In some ways, I think the Internet would be a better place without the Sorostitutes airing their dirty laundry via Livejournals and the like. However, I secretly must admit that being privy to the social misadventures of the Sorostitute can be useful. What better way to stave off melancholia than too look at pictures of the so-called pretty people passed out in their own vomit.